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Multiplayer Game Reviews
September 5, 2010
It’s been a while since I’ve gotten off my editor’s throne and actually done a review. But it’s also been a while since I’ve found a game that I really felt I needed to make a personal commentary on. Our reviewers here do a great job with everything they do, but I’ve been feeling the itch to get back into writing myself. So, when I found myself playing through Mafia II the other day and commenting on various things to my roommate, I realized that if I was going to get back into writing myself I had to do it now. And there’s no better game out at the moment to have helped me with my creative urges than Mafia II.
Before I really get into things though, it needs to be said that this game is rated M for mature, and for good reason. Prolific violence, foul language, and nudity mean that this game is NOT for children. So please, be sensible, read the label, and don’t let your kids play games they shouldn’t be playing at a young age.
The game is set in 1940’s America, following the character Vito Scolleta (you), from his early days as a young boy in Italy, through his childhood life in America, up to his days as a soldier during World War II (where the cinematics end and the gameplay begins) and through his Mafioso days after he comes home.
Visually, the game is absolutely stunning. Sure, there are some that have been a tad better, but you’d be hard pressed to find any physical errors with the way the world looks. It captures a look and feel of the 40’s better than anything else I’ve seen from the time. The “Beaver Cleaver” suburbs, the downtown business districts, the dirty slums and even the heavily industrial dock section all received equal love and care to their visual appearance. And the characters themselves are magnificent. There are parts of the game that are gritty and dark, while others sparkle with a chrome-like sheen.
 Things can get pretty brutal in the industrial sector.
The gameplay is equally spectacular. The whole game is driven by a story that has various climaxes and down times, and works well to depict the underworld lifestyle of Vito and his mafioso friends. If you’re not putting the squeeze on someone for not paying their dues, you might be driving like a madman to evade police, boxing some fool who thinks he could take you, or lounging around the strip club and watching the story move seamlessly into the next chapter. The game also has it’s fair amount of open-endedness. You’re free to do as you please, the same as in most games like this. Your criminal activities might range from shaking down businesses for cash, stealing cars and sending them to the crusher for money, or running around trying to find the numerous collectable items (wanted posters and playboy bunny photos) hidden out in the world. Or, of course, any other creative ideas you might have for yourself.
 But sometimes you just need to make an example out of someone.
But no matter what you decide to do with your time, if you’re into a very solid story backed up by excellent gameplay and quality graphics (and are old enough to buy the game with it’s M rating), then you really can’t go wrong with Mafia II. So far, this game looks like it could be a very strong contender for the Game of the Year award I’ve been mulling over for the site.
Game: Mafia II | Developer: 2k Czech
September 4, 2010
 Baby Maker Extreme isn’t a game about making babies exactly. You might expect it to be, based on the game intro but mostly it’s a game about flinging babies through the hospital after they’re born. I know, that sounds awful, doesn’t it? Mainly because it is. In this game you start out kind of like the mother and end up being the baby itself. The game opens with you doing some special breathing in order to give your baby “power.” Once you’ve done plenty of breathing you will find yourself mashing a button. I don’t mean that figuratively. You are literally mashing a button.
After that your baby gets flung out of your female body and goes flying through the air. Here is where the real game begins. You are little more than a ball flying through the air. You have a certain amount of “boost” that gets you along the way .  You gather points simply by running into other things and can force yourself to land on whatever you want thanks to these boasts and dives you get as well. The game is won or lost when your baby ball can no longer move. I want to say bounce but it doesn’t actually bounce. If you hit the ground you just fail.
The game seems to rely heavily on humor to get you through it. It’s a game were the things you have to hit, or your “targets” are given names like “They Call him Tripod” when you hit individuals with crutches or “Doc Block” when you run into doctors.
The different rooms where you can fly through are colored with various shades. Depending on what room you’re in you have different targets to hit. It’s really very simple after you’ve done a little memorization. The game requires a little bit of forethought but other than that you can do pretty much anything you like and manage to get a decent amount of distance.  It’s pretty much like the long jump. Your goal is to get as far as you can without being made to stop.
I’d recommend this game to anyone who is looking for a few laughs. I’m not sure if I would call it “challenging” but it was alright. It won’t hold your attention for a long time but it isn’t a waste of money either. I had a few laughs while playing it, enjoyed the soundtrack, and made a point to memorize the rooms just for the entertainment value.
Game: Baby Maker Extreme | Developer: Stegersaurus Games
August 31, 2010
 10 Seconds or Less. The title pretty much says it all. This is a game where you are given a number of obscure images and set to the task of altering your perception a little in order to “see” it better. What I mean is, you’re given a picture of…say, a plate of sushi. Then you are given a small picture on top of that plate, which is a cut out of the larger version. So, your goal is to find the one little section of the picture that is highlighted in the small version in ten seconds or less. The faster you do so, the more points you get.
It’s worth pointing out that this game is extremely simple at first. You see a picture of a zebra, a close up of the zebras nose and wham, points. It isn’t until the small pictures get more obscure and the picture you’re given gets larger and more complex that the real challenge sets in. On that note, it’s also a great game if you want your puzzles to become gradually more difficult. I didn’t experience any of that shock you sometimes get where you’re cruising and all of a sudden you’re fighting mini boss battles every time you want to get something finished. Instead the game sort of blended between difficulty levels and ended up being somewhat pleasant as it increased the effort necessary.
The music in this game is one of the key elements. I’m not sure why but I’ve always had a really strong reaction to rhythmic heartbeats in video games. This is no exception. The game thuds steadily as your time runs out and as it grows faster you may find your own heartbeat growing quicker. It really pulls you in.
If you’re struggling the game has a set number of hints it can give to you. This can make your playing experience a little smoother, though there is nothing that can be done if you aren’t one for hand-eye coordination. This is a game that relies heavily on seeing, speed, and accuracy. It’s not for anyone who gets frustrated easily or who doesn’t have dexterous digits. A sad but brutal truth. Still, the game is straight forward, aesthetically pleasing, and easy enough to maneuver with a little bit of patience. It’s a good way to spend a few hours of your time and maybe hone your perceptive skills while you’re at it. You may look at your surroundings a little different afterward.
Game: 10 Seconds Or Less | Developer: PlayItLoud
August 25, 2010
 Now, based on the title of this review you might have a little bit of difficulty finding this game. That’s why I added the cover picture as well, hoping that would help. The title of what I am calling Kohei Gallery is actually in Japanese. Of course, that only made me want to play it that much more, so I went ahead and downloaded it, just for the slim possibility that it would be in English somewhere.
Thank goodness for my ability to hope against hope. Kohei Gallery does indeed provide the option to play in English. It won’t translate all of the text but it gives you enough so that you get the point of the game. Ultimately all you’re doing is flipping tiles in order to get them all on the side that is see-through. The tiles have different properties, depending on their color and when you push one in you flip a certain pattern surrounding them. This makes the puzzles that you play in order to reveal the pictures behind them somewhat challenging. You can control how difficult the puzzles themselves are when you purchase the full game.
The game itself is cute and upbeat. The music is cheerful and the color pallet is really bright. The fact that the goal in the game is to look at pictures of pretty anime girls doesn’t hurt either. I went into this game knowing little to nothing about what I would be doing, other than the fact that anime girls would be smiling at me. If that kind of thing makes you happy then you’ll love this game. There are lots of different poses and outfits to look at, which is something that’s always a plus in my book.
My only concern about this game is that it doesn’t have much by way of depth. Once you’ve mastered the puzzles and looked your fill at the pictures there’s not much else to do. Still, at the price it stands at it’s a good way to spend a few hours feeling good. You may even find yourself pleasantly challenged by the game play, as some of the time the puzzles can get pretty tricky. Still, if you don’t mind a little bit of skin flashing (there’s nothing worse than girls in bikinis but some parents still may object), then this is a game for all ages. I thoroughly enjoyed it and I believe you may too!
Game: Kohei Gallery | Developer: kohei
August 23, 2010
 Breeze is one of those games you break out when you have a nice cup of steaming tea that you want poured all over your lap. You know what I’m talking about. One of those games that you sit down to, thinking it’s going to be a nice, chill ride and ends up being a crushing blow of gravity and finger speed. Yeah, that’s exactly what I’m talking about. It’s another one of those games that presents itself as a walk in the park and is surprisingly hard in the end!
Breeze seems like a nice little whimsical game about a flower. I mean, how harmful could it be? The entire point behind it is to get a little white (the color of purity!) flower from point A to point B with the help of a fan. You use one button and your joystick through the entire experience and somehow it still managed to raise my blood pressure through the roof.
Now I think it’s worth mentioning here that gravity is never your friend in video games. I mean, c’mon: that ledge you’ve been trying to jump to for the last ten minutes isn’t the enemy. No, the enemy is gravity. Those bombs you’re trying fruitlessly to dodge? All gravity. So when you’re puffing around an insanely fragile daisy and you’re subjected to the soul crushing destruction that causes it to blow up whenever it touches anything not meant for flowers don’t be surprised.
All kidding aside, the game did pose a bit of a challenge after a while. When you’re first getting started the most annoying thing about the game is the little time score at the bottom.  You’re given your score as well as the score from the game makers and it’s just infuriating that no matter how hard you try you can’t seem to complete the run in 2.8 seconds. It’s impossible!
After a while, though, you start to be glad that you got through the track at all. The game starts asking you to not only avoid obstacles but also to get pin pricks of prerequisites if you want to complete it. Armed with your little fan you may just find your shaking hands are not the best for maneuvering through small spaces with the power of a fan and gravity in your arsenal. This is a wonderfully frustrating game that anyone can get into.
Game: Breeze | Developer: Rob Hutchinson
August 21, 2010
 Let’s Learn Japanese: Beginner isn’t a complex game. For starters the premise is presented clear as day in the title. No gimmicks, no confusing double meanings. This is a game that knows exactly what it is and tells you so straight up. If you play it you will most assuredly learn Japanese well enough to move on to your next step in the language. Keep in mind that this game is for beginners. It does a wonderful job at getting you started but you won’t necessarily be ready to tackle a conversation with the natives after you’ve mastered it.
Many of us have tried to learn a different language at one point or another. Either we were forced to as an elective in school, our parents pressured us to, we had to learn for a job, or my personal excuse: we wanted to be able to watch more anime. Whatever the case may be we all know its not as easy as it looks. Especially not with Japanese.
You don’t really expect to learn much with video games unless you’re rocking the Leap Frog. I’ve personally tried just about every coach I could find for my DS but to no avail. It just doesn’t stick for some reason. I will, however, tell you that I ended up purchasing the entire game for Let’s Learn Japanese: Beginner. I think it’s a fantastic tool that tackles a difficult problem just by offering the answer in a different, more understandable form.
 Let’s Learn Japanese: Beginner is a little different by way of set up for this language. Instead of teaching you words first, it starts with the alphabet. A lot of times these things do that reversed because the Japanese alphabet can be so daunting for Americans. We tend to “learn” better with active implications than with memorization. If you haven’t been learning thus far this may be your problem. Most language aids teach you to memorize information rather than to incorporate it into your thought processes. This game is different.
Ultimately I would recommend this game to anyone who wants to do as the title says. You won’t be able to speak it fluently with this one tool alone and really that’s how it should be. Instead you’ll get the building blocks you will need to be able to understand enough of the basics to build a solid and long lasting understanding of this complex language.
Game: Let’s Learn Japanese: Beginner | Developer: GZ Storm Games
August 18, 2010
I decided to look through some of the older Xbox Indie games instead of only playing the new ones. After all, there could be some gems in the archives that I may not see unless I am willing to brave the dust and cobwebs. Some of what I found was wonderful. Some of it was…less than dazzling. Colosseum landed closer to the “less than dazzling”.
 Alright, so this game was not actually picked by me. My husband likes to call me a “graphics whore” and I am constantly telling him that there is nothing wrong with wanting my games to look as wonderful as possible. He usually counters with a sound “there’s more to games then how they look.” At that point I usually blow him off because why would anyone spend the time to make a game look beautiful without caring enough to make it work wonderfully?
Colosseum, besides its rather annoying spelling, is not very deep. It is a fighting game with easy to understand controls, though I really hated the way the camera would swing around. It feels like it could have been something great but it slid into monotony and stayed there. While playing I was not sucked in and honestly it was a little disappointing.
 There is really not much to say about this game. It is basically just about defeating your opponents and looking cool. Usually I do not have a problem with things like that but for some reason it annoyed me in this game. It’s probably because I just got the impression that the developers had something great and could have destroyed the competition but went about the whole process as if they couldn’t be bothered.
Still, it is worth mentioning that the game is beautiful. The graphics are stunning and I continued playing well after the realization that I was not interested, just because I liked watching the people jump around. Combat games are not usually my thing but there is something to be said about visual stimulation.
 Still, this is a game that, while it seems to do what it wanted to, falls short of wowing. I think that people who are looking for something simple and aesthetically pleasing might like this game, but do not go in expecting anything more than that.
Game: Colosseum | Developer: Shortfuse Games
August 16, 2010
 I know I’ve mentioned this in one or another review in the past, but I am a Vampire junkie. Not those shiny wannabe’s we see so much of today, but the real, almost beastly ones with emotions that rip them apart. That’s why when I saw Vampire Rage I just about flipped my lid. The game is about a vampire (if you couldn’t tell by the title) who is on a quest for vengeance. Like any other good vengeance story the “hero” is wracked with guilt and second thoughts on his actions. After all, this vampire is doing all of this to avenge the murder of his beloved.
 The art in Vampire Rage is absolutely stunning. It’s dark and Gothic while still being poetic and beautiful. There’s something at once gritty and charming about the way they set the stage in this game and I imagine that that is what they were going for. Something in between romantic and horrifying. Still, there is something to be said about communication without words and this is one of those games that does it beautifully.
Now that we’ve gotten all of the things I liked best about the game out of the way let’s take a look at all of the crap that made me sad. This is a top down shooter game. Your entire screen is comprised of you, a floating mass, and enemies, more floating masses. You see all of this from a birds eye view, and you spend all your energy dodging the attacks of your enemies and shooting them back.
 Now, most of you won’t have any trouble with games like these. You’ve played them before and you know how they work. But I don’t want to talk about how the hardcore gamers will handle this game. That’s never been my thing. I talk to people who are like me, so listen up…this is not a game you want to learn with. It’s fast paced, high pressure, and can be downright frustrating. However, if you’re encouraged by a good challenge get ready to gear up. This is like skipping Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star and learning the piano from Fur Elise. It’s a real trip but the satisfaction of completing it is well worth it.
Game: Vampire Rage | Developer: Tricktale
August 14, 2010
 Crazy Wizard in Creepy Castle is a throwback to some of the first video games we played. It’s a 2D plat former in which you play a gnarly old wizard who has been all but forced to check out this old castle of dark magic. It’s a simple game with cute images and a classic opening. There is a certain amount of humor involved but I don’t think it was added intentionally. Instead you deal heavily with the prospect of jumping over flames that magically attack you, bats, and pikes that fall from the ceiling to do you damage.
If you have never actually played one of these games the movement may be a little daunting at first. The character you control doesn’t actually walk, he more slides around and the slidin g effect can completely mess up the timing of your jumps and dodges if you’re not expecting them.
My favorite thing about this game has got to be the music. It was a great fit to the way the game itself was playing out and ultimately it’s what kept me going when I was considering giving up. Myself, not being someone who actually played more than one of these games when she was little, had a tough time with a lot of the movement and game play. Of course, this means I called in my ever present husband in order to ensure that you guys got a well rounded review.
My husband had to take a moment to adjust himself to the “old ways.” After a few…I want to say hard won hours, but honestly, it was less than ten seconds… After that embarrassingly short amount of time he was all set. It took him about that much time to not only get where I was but surpass me as well, which is always fun to watch. During his game he made mention to the fact that the game wasn’t the best he had played but at the same time and under the same consideration, it was not the worst either. He thought it was a good game for what he expected. He also noted that it’s a straight forward, easy game to follow. If you ever don’t know which way to go you can pretty much just go straight and find your goal with little difficulty.
Everything considered, I would really suggest this game not only to people who played these games in the past but ones who didn’t as well. It’s a great one to slip into the genre with: fun, simple, and oddly charming.
Game: Crazy Wizard in Creepy Castle | Developer: LPS Inc
August 13, 2010
 My first impression of Biz School — Twisted Ed was that someone really loved 3D modeling. The graphics in the game are much better than you would expect to see from an Indie game. The individual people are well done and expressive, even though the game doesn’t really focus on the person aspects of the game.
On the other hand, that could be a problem as well. The game is about running a business, or in some cases a multitude of businesses with the goal of making so much money before the time limit is up. If you don’t know much about business the instructions can be a little confusing and it’s pretty easy to get lost in all the different phrases and terms.
The overview of the game is comical, something I really wasn’t expecting. Usually with games where the end goal is to make insane amounts of money you don’t expect much by way of humor. Still, it’s got a bit of an offbeat kind of dark feel to it which I can appreciate. After all, it’s only in the overview. The rest of the game play itself is “serious business”…get it?
 I don’t usually pay too much attention to the ratings that things get. Some of my favorite movies are ones that have gotten horrible reviews in the past. (i.e. Catwoman and Constantine). Still, I think it is worth mentioning that with over a hundred reviews this game only has two stars. Now, this could be because of the fact that the demo is so short you don’t really get to do anything besides watch the overview and maybe, maybe pick your first venture or so.
The game is really one of those that you have to take a leap of faith if you want to get really into it. You get to see the basic outlay and then you have the option of whether or not to buy it. Now, if you like games that simulate business or economics I would say that it’s worth the dive. It’s one of those games that you can fail and replay, work out where you went wrong and then go back and learn from your mistakes. It’s going to probably take you more than one play through to get it down and it couldn’t hurt to have a heavy dose of luck on your side.
Game: Biz School — Twisted Education | Developer: Ggaler
August 10, 2010
Now, I realize how unprofessional this would be on any other website but since this is one for gaming and gamers I think I’ll express my thoughts on this game without any words for just a moment. Here we go…. =\
Yeah, that’s it. The almighty =\ face. Now, before I get started, I just want everyone to know that I bought this game and honestly, I think it was a dollar well spent. My husband, on the other hand, said, and I quote: “That was the worst game I’ve ever seen.” He’s so mean, but at the same time I suppose it gives another perspective based on our different personalities and our gaming types.
The game is basically a dating simulation. Your goal is to seduce and win the heart of one of four eight bit ladies. These girls have different personalities and are looking for different things in a man, but ultimately what you want is to impress them by figuring out what they want to hear.
I think the best part about this game actually occurs during the losses. When you fail to chose the right option for your particular girl you are given a fail screen. These range from hilarious to downright ridiculous but are almost always worth a look-see. My husband and I played the game all the way through, which means we not only read the text for the correct answers but also went through and got the wrong ones so we could see those too.
The game will probably only take you about an hour to finish. It was only a dollar so I felt that the time and money were well spent. Still, there are a few concerns to address. First of, all the game is exactly as it says it is. It’s an eight-bit game, which can seem a little confusing at first. For people like me you might not always understand what you’re looking at.
Besides that, the text is small and not always on a clear background. I would highly suggest this game but you should probably play in a well lit room and on the biggest screen you can find. The graphics are simple but not unpleasing if you’re looking for something familiar and easy. Besides that, the game itself is pretty funny. I’ve never seen a knight work so hard to win the girl and, though my husband would probably disagree, I’ve never seen a woman be more difficult.
Game: 8-Bit Girlfriend | Developer: Jaded Horizon
August 5, 2010
 What The?! is a game show style game that is set in the 1970’s. As such, it has the overly cheerful host, the prizes that may have been cool then but are dorky now, and the out of nowhere questions you may remember from the game show network.
What The?! Is obviously a game that is meant for more than one person. If you want to just go through and see how much you know, you can. But the fun lies in completely obliterating the self esteem of someone near and dear to you. I know, that sounds awful, but if you’ve ever played a game like this, maybe Buzz or Trivial Pursuit, then you know how vicious they can get! It’s a game about proving that you know more than your fellow companions and sometimes you have to get a little down and dirty to do so!
 The game makes an attempt to be funny. With ridiculous prizes and lukewarm voice acting the game is amusing but mostly you’re interested in the questions. It was funny enough that I understood it was written to amuse me but that’s all it did. We didn’t laugh out loud at the silly antics of the game so if you’re looking for that you might be a little disappointed. Still, though I wasn’t laughing, I was genuinely amused.
The questions are really the important thing of this game and I have to say they come in a wide variety of topics and ease. At the end of each game you are given statistics on your ability to answer. You get to see how many of which category and difficulty level you were able to answer, as well as how quickly.
 There are also different round types in the game. I played the one without the time limit but I’m sure the more fast paced the game is, the more challenging for all.
I really think that this game would be great for parties. The questions are asked in a wide range of topics so you don’t have to be “smart” in order to play and win, you just have to know a little bit about something and be lucky enough to have your categories used. In the end I feel like this is a game for families. It may be a little mature for young children but if you have teenagers you guys should definitely think about trying this one out.
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Game: What The?! | Developer: Social Loner Studios
August 3, 2010
July 25, 2010
 Fluttabyes (pronounced “butterflies” but with a “Fl”) is one of those games you unwind with. Family casual, it’s cute, brightly colored, and couples with the kind of music you expect to hear at the end of a Noggin show. It’s a pairing game which allows you to “free” butterflies by basically making families of more than four. Now, with bejeweled and the various bubble copies of bejeweled you either play with a sliding action in which you are given a block of items and forced to pair them up by switching pairs about or clicking on pairs as they appear. In fluttabyes you replace one butterfly with another (and the occasional ladybug) in order to make these sets; which, in my opinion, makes the game much, much easier but also takes out some of the challenge. The game doesn’t have a win, lose, or draw feeling to it, instead it’s more…you always win; it’s just how much you win that is the question.
Now, I’m never going to label games “kid games.” The reason being is that I frequently run across games that are marketed towards children that are actually interesting and challenging enough to hold the attention of an adult. Goddess knows how long I spent on that darn Hello Kitty Adventure game trying to find all the strawberries for my stupid shortcake. This game sort of falls into that category. I’m not entirely sure who they made the game for, but it’s found this wonderful niche that I feel is neglected: games for adult children. As it is, I did end up buying this game from my niece. She’s all of eleven and while I like to pretend that as an adult I am far superior in my gaming capabilities, saying so would be a lie. She and I paired up and each did a set and for whatever reason, be it because she’s an evil genius, or she somehow cheated (I’m going with evil genius), she kicked my butt here. So, yes, it’s a little bit dinky for adults but there’s still a certain amount of strategy and quickness that is required to beat and continue to beat your personal bests repeatedly.
All in all, I would definitely put this game on the list of things you should try if you’re just looking to relax and have a good time. It’s not very challenging but you can sit down, play a few rounds, and feel as if you accomplished something, albeit somewhat minor. It’s still time well spent. Fun for the whole family.
Game: Flutterbyes | Developer: Red Chain
July 22, 2010
Now, just reading the synopsis for Beat Hazard had me psyched. I really love games that take something from the player, and incorporate it into the mechanics. It shows that the developers and the people who came up with the idea in the first place really care about the people who spend time on their game. Yes, I’m all about the personalization.
Beat Hazard is an arcade style shooter game. As the player you control the flow of the enemies and your own ship depending on which kind and style of music you decide to play while playing. So, if you want a nice, mellow atmosphere while you shoot down enemy crafts you’d plug in something with a slow wind. I’d suggest Norah Jones. If you’re pumped up and ready to roar at your screen like a banshee you’d probably like something a little faster, with drums and a screaming singer you don’t really understand. I used Avenge Sevenfold.
Which brings me to my next observation: maybe it’s not as important for the majority of gamers out there, but Beat Hazard’s makers were kind enough to put a huge strobe warning at the beginning of their game. As someone who plays with the disability of missing out on a lot of games for those exact problems I was really touched by the fact that they were so considerate as to give more warning than the tiny one on the back of the box they’re required to put on all games.
At any rate, the game is visually impressive. The graphics run smoothly and they’re aesthetically pleasing, which is always important…well, to me. The fact that the game uses your music to decide the rhythm of the game is relaxing, even when you are playing a song that is faster. It’s the anticipation. You know what’s coming; you know which parts of the game are going to be super intense and which you can relax on. So, in that aspect I have to say that as much action as there is in this game I’d also have to plug it under casual because it can be damn relaxing. This game is highly recommended.
Game: Cold Beam Games | Developer: Beat Hazard
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