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Multiplayer Game Reviews
August 16, 2010
 I know I’ve mentioned this in one or another review in the past, but I am a Vampire junkie. Not those shiny wannabe’s we see so much of today, but the real, almost beastly ones with emotions that rip them apart. That’s why when I saw Vampire Rage I just about flipped my lid. The game is about a vampire (if you couldn’t tell by the title) who is on a quest for vengeance. Like any other good vengeance story the “hero” is wracked with guilt and second thoughts on his actions. After all, this vampire is doing all of this to avenge the murder of his beloved.
 The art in Vampire Rage is absolutely stunning. It’s dark and Gothic while still being poetic and beautiful. There’s something at once gritty and charming about the way they set the stage in this game and I imagine that that is what they were going for. Something in between romantic and horrifying. Still, there is something to be said about communication without words and this is one of those games that does it beautifully.
Now that we’ve gotten all of the things I liked best about the game out of the way let’s take a look at all of the crap that made me sad. This is a top down shooter game. Your entire screen is comprised of you, a floating mass, and enemies, more floating masses. You see all of this from a birds eye view, and you spend all your energy dodging the attacks of your enemies and shooting them back.
 Now, most of you won’t have any trouble with games like these. You’ve played them before and you know how they work. But I don’t want to talk about how the hardcore gamers will handle this game. That’s never been my thing. I talk to people who are like me, so listen up…this is not a game you want to learn with. It’s fast paced, high pressure, and can be downright frustrating. However, if you’re encouraged by a good challenge get ready to gear up. This is like skipping Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star and learning the piano from Fur Elise. It’s a real trip but the satisfaction of completing it is well worth it.
Game: Vampire Rage | Developer: Tricktale
August 15, 2010
Quake Live
 Remember when 'fragging' was new, cool? Hahahahahahaha, are you kidding me? You’ve never heard of Quake? You have no idea? Seriously, if you are involved in any form of video gaming, and you don’t know what Quake is, you need to reconsider your priorities. Regardless, this is a first person multiplayer shooter. It used to be that you had to do silly things like buy it and install it. Forget that noise, now you can play it in your browser. For free.
Gameplay
This is a first person shooter. You aim and shoot with the mouse and strafe and run with the arrow keys. Run over items and guns to pick them up. Press the corresponding number key to switch to a different gun. You know what? What I just told you was useless, because you can adjust it yourself. Heck, you can play with a joystick if you are a sadist.
The game judges your ability level. Then it allows you to go into a room with other people and then shoot at each other. Repeat ad nauseum.
Technical
 That could be you with the blaster. Okay I lied a little, you have to install a plugin in your browser for this game to work. Please don’t hurt me. Seriously, that’s all you have to do. This game is so smooth technically that it boggles my mind. You are going to be playing a high level, multiplayer shooter through your browser in HTML5. Thank god we live in the information age.
Honestly, you should stop reading this now because anything I tell you is probably just going to confuse you. There is an awesome tutorial that goes when you start the game. Seriously, if you have never played a game remotely like this in your life, it will hand walk you through it and make sure that you are comfortable.
I am a lackluster FPSer, and I had a blast playing against other n00bs in the ‘kiddy pool.’ So, don’t be scared if you’re afraid of getting rocked, because there are rankings and stuff.
Final Verdict
What do you think I’m going to say here? This is awesome. I don’t like spending money on video games, so this is about as good as it gets. This won’t hog RAM, pits you against people of your own level and is free. OH MY GOD WHY ARE YOU STILL READING THIS!?!?!
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Game: Quake Live | Developer: id Software
August 14, 2010
 Crazy Wizard in Creepy Castle is a throwback to some of the first video games we played. It’s a 2D plat former in which you play a gnarly old wizard who has been all but forced to check out this old castle of dark magic. It’s a simple game with cute images and a classic opening. There is a certain amount of humor involved but I don’t think it was added intentionally. Instead you deal heavily with the prospect of jumping over flames that magically attack you, bats, and pikes that fall from the ceiling to do you damage.
If you have never actually played one of these games the movement may be a little daunting at first. The character you control doesn’t actually walk, he more slides around and the slidin g effect can completely mess up the timing of your jumps and dodges if you’re not expecting them.
My favorite thing about this game has got to be the music. It was a great fit to the way the game itself was playing out and ultimately it’s what kept me going when I was considering giving up. Myself, not being someone who actually played more than one of these games when she was little, had a tough time with a lot of the movement and game play. Of course, this means I called in my ever present husband in order to ensure that you guys got a well rounded review.
My husband had to take a moment to adjust himself to the “old ways.” After a few…I want to say hard won hours, but honestly, it was less than ten seconds… After that embarrassingly short amount of time he was all set. It took him about that much time to not only get where I was but surpass me as well, which is always fun to watch. During his game he made mention to the fact that the game wasn’t the best he had played but at the same time and under the same consideration, it was not the worst either. He thought it was a good game for what he expected. He also noted that it’s a straight forward, easy game to follow. If you ever don’t know which way to go you can pretty much just go straight and find your goal with little difficulty.
Everything considered, I would really suggest this game not only to people who played these games in the past but ones who didn’t as well. It’s a great one to slip into the genre with: fun, simple, and oddly charming.
Game: Crazy Wizard in Creepy Castle | Developer: LPS Inc
August 13, 2010
 My first impression of Biz School — Twisted Ed was that someone really loved 3D modeling. The graphics in the game are much better than you would expect to see from an Indie game. The individual people are well done and expressive, even though the game doesn’t really focus on the person aspects of the game.
On the other hand, that could be a problem as well. The game is about running a business, or in some cases a multitude of businesses with the goal of making so much money before the time limit is up. If you don’t know much about business the instructions can be a little confusing and it’s pretty easy to get lost in all the different phrases and terms.
The overview of the game is comical, something I really wasn’t expecting. Usually with games where the end goal is to make insane amounts of money you don’t expect much by way of humor. Still, it’s got a bit of an offbeat kind of dark feel to it which I can appreciate. After all, it’s only in the overview. The rest of the game play itself is “serious business”…get it?
 I don’t usually pay too much attention to the ratings that things get. Some of my favorite movies are ones that have gotten horrible reviews in the past. (i.e. Catwoman and Constantine). Still, I think it is worth mentioning that with over a hundred reviews this game only has two stars. Now, this could be because of the fact that the demo is so short you don’t really get to do anything besides watch the overview and maybe, maybe pick your first venture or so.
The game is really one of those that you have to take a leap of faith if you want to get really into it. You get to see the basic outlay and then you have the option of whether or not to buy it. Now, if you like games that simulate business or economics I would say that it’s worth the dive. It’s one of those games that you can fail and replay, work out where you went wrong and then go back and learn from your mistakes. It’s going to probably take you more than one play through to get it down and it couldn’t hurt to have a heavy dose of luck on your side.
Game: Biz School — Twisted Education | Developer: Ggaler
August 12, 2010
 Run, Turnip, run! Action Turnip!!! (yes, the exclamation points are necessary) is a flash game that has you take control of a turnip and do stuff. Not a whole bunch of stuff, really, just run and shoot. Or both. It depends on which mode you decide to play. In Run ‘n’ Gun Mode, you must shoot things as you run. Turnip is constantly running no matter what you do, so you just have to use the directional keys or the WASD keys to move him around on the screen. Spacebar will make him jump and left click on the mouse will make him shoot. Simple, right?
There are sweet powerups that give you different abilities, or else they’ll just distract you. It’s a mixed bag, really. Some will change the screen to a different color, and some will give you boosts so you can use a rocket burst of flame to make Turnip jump higher. And if you score a combo by shooting enough enemies in a row, you’ll be rewarded with a change of scenery.
The other mode, Turnabalt Mode, just has you see how far you can run without falling off something. Just like in Run ‘n’ Gun Mode, Turnip keeps on running. You click either space bar or left mouse button to make him jump. If you fall off a cliff the round is over and you are given a score. In both modes, the ultimate goal is to score as many points as you possibly can.
Now, this sounds like a really lame game. I know. But the funny thing is that it’s not. It’s actually pretty addictive. You’ll be surprised at how long you spend trying to beat your own top score. The visuals are quaint and hand-drawn, which makes the game simply fun to look at. And the music is awesome! There is a retro-style 8-bit track that plays in a loop. It’s extremely repetitive, but extremely catchy. In fact, you’ll probably have it stuck in your head for hours at a time.
Action Turnip!!! is the perfect blend of simplicity, weirdness and good music. It’s truly stripped down to the basic elements of classic gaming.
 You get this sparkly rainbow mode by scoring a sweet huge combo. Game: Action Turnip!!! | Developer: Raitendo
August 11, 2010
 It's curtains for you red!!!! Blobble Wars
I have a huge affinity for games where you try to take over towers which then produce more guys. Blobble Wars is one of those games, with a twist.
Gameplay
In most of these games, your towers replenish guys until you drag them towards another tower. Well, in this game you shoot balls at towers, and then aim those towers at other towers. The difference is subtle. I prefer it this way because it is a lot more passive than the others.
In the other type of game, there are a lot more ‘mouse strokes’ given in order to launch an attack. In this case, you can just set a cannon blasting at another turret, and go eat some lunch. Not really, but you get my point.
In addition, if you shoot your turret at a turret that you own, the other turret fires in ‘rapid fire’. Pretty cool, and pretty useful.
 Pew Pew Pew Each turret can take 3 hits before it turns over to the other side. Of course, if you blast it with the same color, it will take it back up to ‘normal’ mode, and it will take 3 more hits to take it down.This may not seem like many, but there is another subtle difference between this game and others that makes it possible. See, in other games, for every guy that you sent towards another turret, you could guarantee that it would get there. Not so in Blobble Wars. Here, your turrets fire balls, which can bounce off of each other. Also your turrets are not 100% accurate too. This makes things VERY interesting.
Technical
A very fluid and balanced game. There are 4 levels of difficulty (the last one is called impossible, and that is pretty close to being correct). Difficulty levels don’t always lend themselves to replayability, but in this game it really does.
You use your mouse almost exclusively for this game. Trackpads need not apply. One thing that is really cool is that you can speed up time. I like playing it slowly though, because I can really think out my moves. Planning ahead is key. Always keep in mind the next turret you will take.
Final Verdict
This is a tough game, but I loved it. I also have an affinity for this type of game. You really have to combine strategy and tactics. Reaction time doesn’t factor into this all that much. One of my favorite things to laugh about is when you are playing on a symmetrical level, and you and your opponent do the exact same thing for 4 moves.
Game: Blobble Wars | Developer: Played Online
August 10, 2010
Now, I realize how unprofessional this would be on any other website but since this is one for gaming and gamers I think I’ll express my thoughts on this game without any words for just a moment. Here we go…. =\
Yeah, that’s it. The almighty =\ face. Now, before I get started, I just want everyone to know that I bought this game and honestly, I think it was a dollar well spent. My husband, on the other hand, said, and I quote: “That was the worst game I’ve ever seen.” He’s so mean, but at the same time I suppose it gives another perspective based on our different personalities and our gaming types.
The game is basically a dating simulation. Your goal is to seduce and win the heart of one of four eight bit ladies. These girls have different personalities and are looking for different things in a man, but ultimately what you want is to impress them by figuring out what they want to hear.
I think the best part about this game actually occurs during the losses. When you fail to chose the right option for your particular girl you are given a fail screen. These range from hilarious to downright ridiculous but are almost always worth a look-see. My husband and I played the game all the way through, which means we not only read the text for the correct answers but also went through and got the wrong ones so we could see those too.
The game will probably only take you about an hour to finish. It was only a dollar so I felt that the time and money were well spent. Still, there are a few concerns to address. First of, all the game is exactly as it says it is. It’s an eight-bit game, which can seem a little confusing at first. For people like me you might not always understand what you’re looking at.
Besides that, the text is small and not always on a clear background. I would highly suggest this game but you should probably play in a well lit room and on the biggest screen you can find. The graphics are simple but not unpleasing if you’re looking for something familiar and easy. Besides that, the game itself is pretty funny. I’ve never seen a knight work so hard to win the girl and, though my husband would probably disagree, I’ve never seen a woman be more difficult.
Game: 8-Bit Girlfriend | Developer: Jaded Horizon
August 9, 2010
 MAN THE MORTARS!!!! Creeper World Training Sim
In Creeper World Training Sim you are preparing to colonize some sort of foreign planet. However, this planet just happens to be occupied by a foreign creature, Creeper, which, you will take care of the human way, by killing it with guns.
Gameplay
You start off with a base, Odin City. Do not lose this city at all costs. You then expand outwards with solar collectors. However, while you are expanding, so is the Creeper. The Creeper is so named because it creeps across the screen.
The way you stop the Creeper is by building blasters, mortars and all that jazz. The end goal is to get to some hyperlinks or something like that, and then once you have connected them to your energy grid you finish the level.
Everything you build has to be connected, and if any of the Creeper touches your buildings, it starts to damage your area. This is no good. Your city sends out packets of energy, which is constrained by the amount of solar collectors you have built and how much energy is being taken up by other things like shooting.
 What is this? School? There’s not really an upgrade system, but you get access to different technologies over the course of the game. The Creeper evolves in ways that don’t make sense, but overall it’s the same beast.
What I really like about this game is that it has a lot of the things that I like about Tower Defense Games. You have to defend against an amorphous enemy by building towers. However, there is an offensive part about it. It also does one of my favorite things which is combining strategy and tactics, feeling like a turn by turn strategy game, but still relying on your own reflexes to get the job done.
Final Verdict
Easily one of my favorite flash games. There are no weak points to it in my opinion. I guess the only problem I have with it is that it does not have enough levels (only 5). Great game. Playable in an afternoon.
Game: Creeper World Training Sim | Developer: Armor Games
August 7, 2010
 Be a Doodle God. It's a tougher job than you might think. Doodle God is an interesting concept for a game. You begin with the four basic elements (earth, water, air, and fire) and you combine them to make new elements. By this method, you must create the entire world.
There are 115 elements that you must create (well, actually 111, since you start out with 4) to complete this world. These elements are divided into fourteen categories to keep them better sorted. You have a counter at the top of the page that tells you how many elements and categories you’ve unlocked.
This may sound pretty straightforward, but it’s not. Not at all. I started this game thinking it would take maybe five minutes. An hour later I was about halfway done, running out of combinations to try, and losing my patience. Let me just say that this game is NOT easy. And let me explain why…
Four elements is just the beginning. You mix air and water to get steam. Now you have five elements. Which means the amount of possible combinations has increased. This number will continue to increase exponentially as you make more and more new elements until there is an overwhelming amount of combinations to try. Yeah, you’ll start feeling anxiety at about 50 elements. Maybe even sooner. Trust me.
Some of the combinations are fairly obvious, while others are just plain mind-boggling. Here’s an example: egg plus sand equals turtle. Sure, it makes a little bit of sense once you think about it for a little bit, but Doodle God expects you to come up with this on your own. You will definitely resort to trial and error very quickly.
And some of the elements are just bizarre. Like the entire supernatural beings category. You’ll wind up making strange things like vampires and zombies and dragons. (But really, what world would be complete without the occasional zombie?)
But don’t get discouraged. If you are at the end of your rope, you can ask for a hint once every four minutes. You will probably use this feature. A lot. And when you successfully get combinations that work, you are rewarded with tidbits of wisdom from philosophers, writers, and comedians.
Doodle God is a completely unique puzzler that is challenging enough to frustrate even geniuses. And I love that. Any puzzle game that’s worth its pixels should stretch your brain to the limit, and be interesting, and simple. Doodle God is all of these things and more.
I dare you to try this one. I triple dog dare you. Are you up to the challenge?
 Pick elements from separate categories and combine them to make new elements.
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Game: Doodle God | Developer: Elite Games
August 6, 2010
Hit squad is a brilliantly upbeat action game where you have to complete a variety of tasks within set time limits in order to move onto the next level or mission.
Your role is as a sniper who has to take out a variety of different enemies. However, this game is much different from many other action sniper shooters. You don’t just have to shoot in each level, you have to complete other missions such as getting passports ready in order to get yourself out of the country.
There is not a lot happening on screen, which makes the game very simple and easy to understand. The controls work with you just having to use a mouse to complete each level and task. One annoying aspect to the game is that the scope on the sniper rifle is very small. This makes it difficult in later rounds to protect your assets and kill off multiple enemies within a set amount of time.
 Annoyingly small scope You can change your identity from time to time, which will bring with it added features. Some characters move the scope faster than others while some are better at sorting out passports quickly.
The graphics are pretty good and the developers have stuck with the cartoon look, which works well for this game. This adds to the simplicity, so the game is much faster which helps when you have to move the scope around rapidly in the later missions.
This game will never be on the same level as some great web sniper shooters because it lacks the depth and detail with each level. But it is well worth a look and will keep you entertained for a good half an hour or so.
 Get those passports ready Give this game a chance because it’s a refreshing twist on the sniper genre that was becoming bogged down by two or three popular series.
This game does not try too hard to become more than it is. It keeps it fun and if you’re looking for a sniper game with more depth and story than a series like Sniper Assassin, it may provide what you’re looking for.
Game: Hit Squad http://www.addictinggames.com/hitsquad-game.html | Developer: Addicting Games http://www.addictinggames.com/index.html
August 5, 2010
 What The?! is a game show style game that is set in the 1970’s. As such, it has the overly cheerful host, the prizes that may have been cool then but are dorky now, and the out of nowhere questions you may remember from the game show network.
What The?! Is obviously a game that is meant for more than one person. If you want to just go through and see how much you know, you can. But the fun lies in completely obliterating the self esteem of someone near and dear to you. I know, that sounds awful, but if you’ve ever played a game like this, maybe Buzz or Trivial Pursuit, then you know how vicious they can get! It’s a game about proving that you know more than your fellow companions and sometimes you have to get a little down and dirty to do so!
 The game makes an attempt to be funny. With ridiculous prizes and lukewarm voice acting the game is amusing but mostly you’re interested in the questions. It was funny enough that I understood it was written to amuse me but that’s all it did. We didn’t laugh out loud at the silly antics of the game so if you’re looking for that you might be a little disappointed. Still, though I wasn’t laughing, I was genuinely amused.
The questions are really the important thing of this game and I have to say they come in a wide variety of topics and ease. At the end of each game you are given statistics on your ability to answer. You get to see how many of which category and difficulty level you were able to answer, as well as how quickly.
 There are also different round types in the game. I played the one without the time limit but I’m sure the more fast paced the game is, the more challenging for all.
I really think that this game would be great for parties. The questions are asked in a wide range of topics so you don’t have to be “smart” in order to play and win, you just have to know a little bit about something and be lucky enough to have your categories used. In the end I feel like this is a game for families. It may be a little mature for young children but if you have teenagers you guys should definitely think about trying this one out.
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Game: What The?! | Developer: Social Loner Studios
August 4, 2010
 Yes. You will by flying Porta Potties on the LOST island. Potty Racers 2
Part of creating a quality flash game is breaking barriers, to borrow a phrase, to boldly go where no one has gone before. Potty Racer is one of those games. Erring on the scatological, this is by no means a game that should be taken lightly. Your job, should you choose to accept it, is to fly and upgrade a port-a-potty.
Gameplay
One area that Potty Racers 2 does not break barriers is in the actual gameplay. This is one of those push your cart off a hill and then try to land safely games. Then you earn money based off of how high and how far you go. It’s better than some, because you actually have to do things in the air and motor control is the better part of it.
You also have to be aware of your landing gear, because you have to land. However, it literally doesn’t matter how fast you are moving. I was moving down so fast that the clouds were a blur, but because my wheels lined up with the ground, I made it out to fly another day.
Technical
 Hooray for safe landings! Technically, this was a pretty great game. The graphics were neat. The whole concept is pretty great. Unfortunately, the whole thing gets pretty repeditive. Although you move from stage to stage, you literally are buying the same upgrades, just a little bit faster.
On top of that, you can buy tricks, but I never really understood why you would want to use them. Sure you get points, but in the grand scheme of the game, they are worth a pittance compared to how much you earn from playing the game as is.
Final Verdict
Fun game. It has a lot of simple touches. For example there is always feces flying out of the back of your portapotty. Also, when you are upgrading it, even after you have made a jet fighter, you are very clearly still pushing a porta potty down a hill.
It’s in stages, which means that it is easy, but addicting to play at work.
Game: Potty Racers 2| Developer: Addicting Games dot com
August 3, 2010
August 2, 2010
 When pinball was a big thing in the town that I lived in I could never force myself to get into it. Don’t get me wrong, I have always been aware of the kind of excited energy that surrounds the game, I just couldn’t understand it. It’s a very easy concept, you have two buttons and you watch a ball. Still, when you play, you can easily forget that you only have two buttons and everyday gravity is doing most of the work. It is fun, if not a little simplistic.
Even realizing this I could never wrap my head around why my little brother and his friends would spend huge amounts of time, energy, and money battling with those old stand up machines. It wasn’t until I was sitting on facebook with nothing to do that I started playing this game and realized how amazing pinball could really be. It is one of those seemingly easy games that can surprise you with its complexity.
Now, I usually like to start on what I thought of the visuals, and this game has been done beautifully. Its clarity makes you feel like you are actually looking down at the top of one of these machines from the comfort of your own home. The mechanics are also really smooth and easy to learn (only three buttons, as you would expect), and they flow beautifully. There is none of that lag between you pushing your button and the screen registering it. It is a highly responsive game.
 Just like with physical versions of pinball there is some skill required here as well. The company who made this really took the time to ensure that gravity is very much a factor while you play. That being said, “flapping,” that is, simply mashing the two pegs wildly, assuming you’ll be able to prevent the ball from falling in, is not going to work. There is a certain finesse required to get the most out of your time and the game.
Sony also took the time to bring out that group element I talked about earlier, where my little brother’s friends would huddle around the machine for hours, by connecting it to Facebook and giving it that perfectly suited social medium. I would say that this is a game that anyone can appreciate. It’s fun, simple, exciting, visually pleasing and you even have the option of playing against the scores of your friends for the more competitive amongst us. Their profile photos even show up in the game as well.
All in all, it is beautifully done, masterfully programmed, and easy to find and play. There is really no reason not to play it. It is equally great for when you only have a few minutes to waste and for when you have a few hours to kill. So try it out!
Game: Emusicon Pinball | Developer: Sony
August 1, 2010
 Curse those Persians! If there’s one thing I’ve learned from my time with flash video games, you can usually tell what the game is going to be about from the title. That is, of course, what the title is all about. Anyways, in this one you replay the exploits of Alexander the Great. Kind of…
Gameplay
This is one of those games where you click on the kind of guy you want to make, and then you send it off towards the other side. The similarity ends there. Usually in these games you just throw them all at your opponent in one line. In this game there are 10 different slots where you can send your troops.
On top of that, when you start each invasion, you have a limited supply of troops. When one of your guys dies, you are SOL. If one makes it to the other end, then you keep him and you can send him in to possibly die for his country.
Then there is a very involved money raising and upgrade system. It took me a while to figure out what I just told you. So consider yourself lucky, loyal reader.
You also have to worry about something called command, which is how much ‘mana’ you have to ’summon’ guys on the battlefield. I still haven’t really figured that out yet.
Technical
 I really admire the complexity of this game. Seriously I got really bored with the whole ‘queue guys and throw them at the enemy’ games. This one is big. Not only is it tactically complex. You have to manage money and still worry about the Persians knocking on your door upstairs. That’s right, the Persians are in this too.
You won’t get this in 10 minutes. This is one of those games that I feel like I should have payed for, but I cheated the system and played it for free in my browser.
Technically, this game is flawless. Very balanced. You will not win every battle.
Final Verdict
If you are a fan of fun games, definitely play this game. It is one of those that will tax your strategic and tactical skills as well as sometimes testing your ability to beat the computer to the click of the mouse.
Game: Alexander | Developer: MaxGames.com
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